Create A Problem Then Create The Solution

Why is moving dishes from the sink to the dishwasher the most grueling task on the planet?

Because we invented a dishwasher, that’s why.

These types of conundrums cause my brain to blow a fuse. I completely black out—a total grid failure.

Do you want to hear a phrase that’s caused more damage to vocal chords than cheap red wine and Marlboro lights? – “Will you please put your dirty dishes in the dishwasher!?”

Why aren’t we all suing the heavy cycle off of these appliance manufacturers for false representation?

How long does it take to hand wash dishes? 20 minutes? How long is the “normal cycle” on your dishwasher? Yeah, it’s around two hours. Yet, what do we do? We pre-wash the dishes so our sweet little dishwasher doesn’t get its rack hurt when the jasmine rice that was stuck to my dinner plate goes flying off. Then we place them correctly in the racks, ensuring the plastics go in their place because God forbid the plastic melts. And don’t forget to scold the dog for licking the plate we just placed in the bottom rack because we feel like we just cleaned it, which we did.

We work for our dishwashers.

The dishwasher is a gimmick—plain Jane and simple. We’ve been fooled. They sold us the hat we’re wearing, folks. They convinced us we had a problem, then turned around and sold us the solution. And by “they, " I mean I have no clue who I am referring to, but I know I’m mad at them.

I digress.

We create problems and then try to solve them so we feel like we have some false sense of control.

Dirt barks whenever he thinks Mud is doing something wrong. His barking causes more problems than his self-proclaimed solution. At least Dirt’s idea of a problem doesn’t require me to invest monthly in Cascade Complete soap packets.