Professor Bo Kai

I went to college when I was twenty-five, and here’s what I learned.

I learned that hard is relative. I learned the cleanest bathrooms are in the administrative buildings, but by far, the most important thing I learned was grades are highly negotiable.

One afternoon, I headed to Dr. Bo Kai’s office hours–my statistics professor. When I arrived, he had the door open and was sitting in his chair with his head leaned back, staring at his computer screen. The only thing on the screen was some kind of guacamole recipe from Southeast Asia…

I quietly sat in the chair reserved for his students just behind him and waited. Usually, he was excited to see me (or acted like he was), but this time, he didn’t move a muscle.

As the minutes passed, I wondered if I was witnessing some version of the next “Good Will Hunting.” I mean, the guy didn’t flinch—total and complete focus.

After ten minutes, the professor in the office across the hall got a phone call and got up to shut his door. As soon as the door closed, you would have thought Dr. Bo Kai had pulled the ejection level on a F-18… I mean, he shot out of his chair!

When he came to his senses and landed back in his seat, he finally noticed I was sitting there a few feet behind him, patiently waiting.

“Dr. Kai.” I said, “You alright over there?”

“Oh, hello, hello,” he sort of muttered and whispered, holding his hand to his head. “Sorry. So sorry. I so tired. I have new baby. I no sleep last night.”

“Oh, well that’s amazing!” I exclaimed, “Congratulations!”

“Yea, yea, thank you. But she cry all night. Me so tired.”

“Dr. Kai, you have a little…” I said, pointing to the side of my mouth.

“Oh, no! I so sorry! Let me go wash my face.” He got up and went to the restroom.

Dr. Bo Kai wasn’t focused on solving some insane math problem. Dr. Bo Kai was dead tired from his newborn, keeping him up all night. Dr. Bo Kai was also keen to drool during afternoon office hour naps, apparently.

“Okay,” He said, as he walked back into the office and sat down, “What today, Mr. Small?”

“Well, Dr. Kai, you know I haven’t missed a class?” I said.

“Yea yea! Or an office hour.” He chuckled.

“And you know I’m working really hard on this class…”

“I know. You are. You worka hard.”

“Well, I also know, this is the last math class I’ll ever have to take.”

“Oh really?” He asked.

“That’s right.” I told him. “And if I don’t pass this class I guess I’ll have to take it again… with you… over the summer.”

Defeated, he leaned back in his chair and gasped, “yea yea. What do you need?”

“Well, Dr. Kai,” I said, “ I think a D- is looking pretty fine right about now.

“Mr. Small, I think you’re right. Don’t worry. Work hard on final exam. I give you D-.”

“Dr. Kai, it's been a pleasure doing business with you. I wish you, your wife, and your daughter a wonderful tenure here at the College Of Charleston.”

I failed every assignment, quiz, and exam in Dr. Kai’s class. I mean, I drastically failed. We’re talking F- type of of fail. The highest grade I received on any assignment was a 33%. But I passed. I got a D-. How? I negotiated. I drove Professor Bo Kai insane. I never missed a class or his office hours. I sat in the front and asked questions. Lots of questions. I emailed, called, scheduled, and rescheduled anything and everything he offered that could be scheduled. I even bought him a beer one night when I bumped into him and Mrs. Kai who looked to be on a date.

The value of life experience is underappreciated today. We get so caught up in titles, degrees, and followers, that we’ve forgotten the value of doing things differently. It’s doing things differently that makes the difference.

I instilled this idea of difference within Dirt & Mud. I want them to question things. I know it may sound nutty, but I’ve found the best results of behavior change come when I reason with them. When I allow them the space to show me their way of thinking, I’ll reason with them before I attempt to guide them to a more suitable solution. This allows them to make decisions for themselves while gaining life experience.

The point? Life experience is the outcome of how we choose to navigate obstacles. While some obstacles have well-beaten paths to make life easier, others come with an endless variety of choices. The probability of me using the math in Dr. Bo Kai’s probability and statistics class was doubtful, but the statistics of the life experience I gained from learning to negotiate a D- proved his class to have provided me with the most value.